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I am on a never-ending quest for truth.  It is what gets me up in the morning and truly delights me day after day.  This is also what has compelled me to be so fascinated with medicine and my patients.  I love being a pediatric resident.  I love interacting with my patients mostly because I know that they will be frank with me.  When I ask one of my toddler patients what hurts, where it hurts or what’s wrong, I know that they will tell me.  I don’t presume to be the pied-piper- I just know how the system works. 

Whenever I walk into an examination room, I look at the parents first and know full well that my patient is sizing me up.  As I am talking to the parents and asking various questions, I also like to look at the patient from time to time and verify their history with them.  I am always thrilled when my patient decides to start speaking with me directly.  In all interactions, unless the child is critically ill, my primary goal is to speak directly to my patient and establish a connection.  My secondary goal is to make the parents feel and know that they are part of a larger team that has been put together to care for their child.  I also want parents to know and feel that no request or concern that they have is too big or too small, especially if it is concerning the care of their child.

I do this because I remember what it was like to be a child.  In some cases, there were some glorious times that I had, though there were also some bumps and bruises along the way.   I used to love roaming around my back yard and exploring the vast expanse of sky.  I could create floating clouds of dirt and watch the ground slip through my fingers. Or adorn my clothes with stains of grass while I slipped and slid down our lush green hills. My favorite past time was grabbing one of my plaits and twirling it around like a bumble bee… buzzing in my ear ever so softly. I never dared to stop dreaming and my life was truly my canvas.

One of the fundamental truths that I was born with is that I was different.  This difference had little to do with the fact that I was a little girl with plaits growing up with ponytails and crew cuts.  Instead, this had more to do with me being able to see people.  As a little girl, growing up I felt invisible at times and was subsequently treated as such.  However, it was those times where I felt transparent that I was able to stop and look at the world around me.  I became very good at seeing who the people were who surrounded me in all circumstances.  I listened to their hopes and dreams, saw how they treated others and how they behaved towards themselves.  In most cases, I eventually became friends with those who taunted me the most.  I suspect that it had to do with the fact that I saw a deep loneliness in my tormenters while they in turn saw a loving acceptance within me.  All in all, the most important life experience that I have learned is that people are individuals with their own unique talents and purposes.  

Every time I see a new baby, I delight in their expressions of constant wonder. I laugh at how some babies never close their eyes and constantly try to take in the world and all that it has to offer.  This is why I love children.  They are beacons of joy, light, and energy who constantly fuel the endless waves of imagination.   Children are also able to see people for who they are and treat them accordingly.  Have you ever been to a playground of toddlers?  Are children grouped according to gender? Eye or hair color? Skin color?  Or are they running around, holding hands, running from one another and laughing together?

I can never escape the beauty of children.  They surround me day after day.  This is also the reason that I wanted to create my Ishababies characters to have meaning.  I wanted people to have a friend who they could talk to and feel safe with.  I wanted to create characters that were unique and compelling in their own individual ways- just like each child.  By creating, my hopes are that people will come to see the world as a group of individuals with different passions and dreams.  My hopes are that my patients grow up to be conscientious citizens who cultivate their own talents and celebrate others.

There is nothing more amazing than hearing a child’s laugh or seeing a smile.  This is what sustains me in being a doctor and compels me to thrive in toy design.  I will never stop dreaming.

(Originally written 4/09)

I have always had a knack for multi-tasking.  While this has become a more common thing these days, it never ceases to amaze me how stressful things can get.   Stress is everywhere.  I am sitting here at the end of my fourth year of medical school and can finally smile at the fact that I have almost accomplished one of my life-long goals…medical school.  Medical school is one of the hardest things to go through, period.  Most people believe that it is hard because of the overwhelming amount of knowledge that is forced upon you.   As I went through it, I realized that it wasn’t the knowledge that was the challenge- it was the environment that I build for myself that was the most important.  It was so important to keep in contact with my friends and family when I could.  It also became especially important for me to eat at least three healthy meals a day and take my vitamins.  And of course, SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP whenever I could. 

That being said, these essentials were almost enough to bring me back to a peaceful state of mind.  But, in times where I felt really down in the dumps and isolated, I had to get a hug…from one of my Ishababies.   It was a secret that I kept very well.  You see, I have always been a kid at heart which is one of the reasons that Pediatrics is one of my great loves.   But, being a CEO of a gift company that specializes in plush characters allowed me to have full time access to my snuggly soft friends.   I never turned down a hug from one of them and would often cuddle my friends while hanging around my house.

Medical school was even more difficult for me because I was constantly going.   I felt like I was always dealing with deadlines for the budget, an exam, a medical presentation, designing a new outfit or even new dolls.  As time progressed, I felt that this secret life separated me from my peers.  Many of them couldn’t understand that I had daily business meetings with my staff or that I had to stay up even later to talk to our manufacturers abroad.   Though it was difficult at first, I finally became a master juggler who delighted in the beauty of humanity- sometimes I felt as though I could experience the full gamut of emotions in an hour of a day.

Hugs were a way to connect me to the larger world and focus on my larger purpose.  I began to find that there was a lot to a hug- It was simple, warm, and a great stress release.  Even now, I love hearing from our customers about how healing the Ishababies can be to those customers who have dealt with illness, loneliness, or just a bad day.    I have heard recently in the news that there are some people who are buying life-like baby dolls who cry and coo.  These women carry them around in public, put them in strollers and treat them like real babies.  

A hug is a hug and the simple fact is that we all need to express love or receive love in some way- we are all human.  Ishababies offer a less complicated alternative to the doll or the teddy bear- they are soft and light.  I sometimes even give my mini keychain baby a squeeze during stressful times and feel a little better.    Even though I created my line to represent the beauty of individuality and humanity, I can’t help but remarking that my experience with them has become my own play therapy session.   In a way, having the toy industry and the medical industry juxtaposed to one another became a well needed outlet when I wanted to escape from either world.   In this way, I loved the fact that I could wear many hats and have (seeming) control over my career path…

As women, we wear many hats- some too numerous to count.   Our lives can be especially hectic and stressful.  But,  I find that there should always be time to sit and breathe.  Even taking a moment to reflect, pulling over to the side of the road, or even looking out the window allows an escape from the day and a way to lower our heart rates, breathing rate and gets us back in touch with our senses.  But, most importantly, don’t forget to hug- your loved ones, pets, or significant characters in your life.  Being a medical student and a CEO has been an extraordinarily stressful and rewarding experience and I am now ready to be a doctor, CEO, and look forward to becoming wife and mother in the future with no reservation.